Physicality versus Emotionality

I ride the bus to school every day.

Not a strange statement in itself, but considering the fact that I am in college, and it is the universal desire for all college bound students to liberate themselves from the unreasonable clutches of parental authority, you might say this is at least a bit strange.

But I'm not here to talk about commuting to college every day. I am here to talk about the bus.

If you were to divide the bus into three parts (front, middle, back), you would want to be in the middle. That's because only here are there what I would call traditional seats. You know, two by two, facing forwards, window seats and the like. Now, I don't mind sitting sideways from time to time (which is how the front and back are oriented), but I'm just saying that the middle is the place to be.

Now, I'm sure we as Americans all know that if there is an empty seat available, regardless of orientation, you will take it as opposed to sitting next to a stranger. It's common courtesy, an acknowledgment of the eternal "bubble" as we like to call it. No problems.

But occasionally, there is no option but to sit by someone. And that's no big deal either. Usually my girlfriend is with me, so this isn't relevant. But today, she wasn't. And today, it was.

I've always pondered social bus situations. I don't know why, unless it's just a compulsive habit of analyzing. Which I'm fine with. But think about this: If there are 10 half filled seats, and one more person to sit down, then only one of those ten original seatees will be selected for the ride. Selected. Like it's a popularity contest. Selected how? How does one decide?

Personally, I try not to sit with women not-my-girlfriend. As little pressure as it may put on them having a strange man sitting next to them, I don't do it. It's subtleties. It moves from there, then, to the physical condition of the guy I'll be stuck with for an hour. If he looks unkept, he probably is. I'm not ashamed that I'd rather sit next to someone more inviting. But other than that, I don't really think about it.

Until it's the other way around.

I find myself caring what people think of me, yet I want to retain my privacy (and arm space). it's a lose lose situation. If I'm one of the ten and I'm left to myself after #11 sits down, I can't help buy wonder why I failed some imaginary test of compatibility. Do I smell bad? Are my clothes dirty?

Stupid, unreasonable questions. But there they are. Personally, I'd chalk it up to my uninviting appearance, a technique perfected through years of depression and sought-after solitude. But, if someone sits by me, I lose a bit of my freedom.

Someone sat by me today. It was awkward and uncomfortable, but it happened and I feel one-hundredth of a percent better. It's not really a big deal. None of it is. These are just the workings of an idle mind.

But still, it makes you wonder... do we always sacrifice physical comfort for emotional comfort? What's the percentage on that?

That's what I want to know.