To the World:

Dominic Peters, an emissary of the past, present, and future Dominists, with ambitions of peace.

I am sure that you know about our recent growth in number, and I can assure you that we in no way intend to disrupt the webs you have spun, for of all things you alone are the keeper of time, the sole destroyer of all.

Do note, however, that we will not let our presence pass by unknown, and that should your path continue to rub edges with that of ours, there can be no coexistence between us. As we work in you we will not stand by as cancerous nodes swell and run over all that we hold dear.

This, your final warning.

Dom

The Pretender - Foo Fighters

Keep you in the dark you know they all pretend
Keep you in the dark and so it all began

Send in your skeletons
Sing as their bones come marchin' in... again
The need you buried deep
The secrets that you keep are at the ready
Are you ready?

I'm finished makin' sense
Done pleading ignorance
That whole defense
Spending this energy
But the wheel is spinnin' me, it's never ending, never ending
Same old story

What if I say I'm not like the others
What if I say I'm not just another one of your plays
You're the pretender
What if I say I will never surrender

In time or so I'm told
I'm just another soul for sale, oh well
The page is outta print
We are not permanent, we're temporary, temporary
Same old story

I'm the voice inside your head, you refuse to hear
I'm the face that you have to face, mirroring your stare
I'm what's left, I'm what's right, I'm the enemy
I'm the hand that'll take you down, bring you to your knees

So, who are you?
Yeah, who are you?
Yeah, who are you?
Yeah, who are you?

Re: Firsts (and a bit on change, too)

I hope that Andy doesn't mind me putting him on the spot... but he did post it publicly (Firsts), so... whatever. This is in no way directed towards him or really his idea - just me musing on what he said.

i think its important that when change is no longer forced upon people, people need to take the initiative and force change upon themselves. we deal with a lot of change during our younger years and grow up a lot (mentally). but eventually, people settle down into their job and their routines and never change again, thus never growing again. change is hard but change is good.

I have a post about change as compared to redefinition, and to be quite honest it's not very... deep. It was basically me attempt to recategorize the word change into terms I could use without fear of being misunderstood. For me, to everything there is a good and a bad. There is nothing that is anything (in this world) which can claim perfection, or absolute evil for that matter.

Everything is based on perspective. Some think change and they think opportunity. Others feel fear. Which one is right? Neither. So I took the "positive" term, called it redefinition, and took the "negative" for change. It's just semantics.

But I want to ask where we get the different ideas concerning change. Why do some fear it and others embrace? Do we eventually do both in the span of our lives?

When it's all said and done, Andy hit my point right on the head: the point I was unconsciously making in Firsts was that I'm running out of an entity that I'm all too familiar with. The first of something. It's a fear, but also a sadness. Like losing an old friend and not knowing if I'll make any new ones.

But I'm not running out of all of my firsts, just the mandatory ones. I have unlimited potential to change, to do new things, to have new firsts. First book published. First life changed. (Or maybe I've already done that one...) To change for the better. Change for the worse. Change because I go where I choose and if I choose where I go, that's the way things are.

Firsts

I'm running out of them, you know. First breath. First word. First birthday. First day of Elementary school, Junior High, High School, and now the first day of college. First job. First car.

Aside from areas of my personal life that I won't go into, I have very few left.

Huh.

Combat Mode

1) Self doubt
2) Self fulfillment
3) Defense
4) Attack

I've got this... mood that I get into sometime. I call it combat mode. Listed above are the categories of it. The ways it starts. The triggers. It's a peculiar state of being. It's not depressed. It's driven. It's not unhealthy. It's liberating.

It's not unhealthy... I might be wrong in that respect. I suppose that while I'm in it, I might be considered a bit standoffish. I might be viewed as depressed. I'm sorry, you still don't know what it is, do you?

Combat mode is the epitome of bittersweet. Sweet & sour sauce has nothing on it. Rhubarb has nothing on it. Combat mode is like Saidin (sp?).

I wish I could explain it, but it's so difficult. Imagine that your entire family was brutally killed. Imagine that you know who did it. Now imagine how you would feel as you went out to exact revenge. That's it. That, right there, is combat mode.

But it's not always so violently guided. Sometimes all it takes is the right song on the radio. Other times it's because I'm disappointed in myself (1), and it's a soulsearch for redemption. Or maybe I'm the self-righteous savior of the world (2). I suppose in that respect (3) (4) are simply variations on the first two...

Do you have moods like this? Characters? Personae?

Am I crazy?

The Way - Fastball

This song makes me think of us. Of the Dominists. Because as much as we profess our intellect, we don't really know the way yet.

I had a teacher once who told me that I only talk in circles. The thing of it is, so what if I do? At least I'm not afraid to talk.

So who cares if we don't know where we're going yet? We intend to in time.

They made up their minds
And they started packing
They left before the sun came up that day
An exit to eternal summer slacking
But where were they going
Without ever knowing the way?
They drank up the wine
And they got to talking
They now had more important things to sayAnd when the car broke down
They started walking
Where were they going without ever knowing the way?

Anyone could see
The road that they walk on is paved in gold
And it's always summer, they'll never get cold
They'll never get hungry
They'll never get old and gray
You can see their shadows
Wandering off somewhere
They won't make it home
But they really don't care
They wanted the highway
They're happy there today , today

The children woke up
And they couldn't find 'em
They Left before the sun came up that day
They just drove off
And left it all behind 'em
But where were they going without ever knowing the way?

That's the Way

The way things are. Do you believe in fate? Destiny?

I don't like it. The idea that somehow, from somewhere else, my entire life has been determined for me? It doesn't seem fair. But that's the way it is, isn't it? Life's not fair.

Maybe we're not predestined for anything.

Because anything's possible. Right?

But resolve is the wrench in the gears. Determination. Stubbornness. Character. Anything is possible, yes, but how willing are we to allow it to pass?

Not very.

So that's the way things are. That's why, my friend, they bring their problems to you. Because you are the mechanic. That's why you won't turn away. Because you can't look upon their pain without feeling it yourself.

These things get that way because, well... they were meant to be. Because you made them that way. And it's not fate. It's not destiny. That's the way things are.

That's the way.

Life Is... vol.2

Life is difficult. All people know this. But there are two different responses to it, and I'm not talking about success versus failure, because everyone tastes a bit of both on their journeys. I'm talking about the way you actually view the thing.

Either it's difficult and you complain, or it's difficult and you accept this as the way things are. The way they're supposed to be.

My dad always tells me that anything worth having is worth hard work. Because it's not easy. Because life is not easy. Because life is worth having.

Don't let it bring you down. Think of it this way - when we exercise, what are we doing? Tricking the body into consuming extra fats, tricking it into thinking that it needs to devote extra energy to the muscles to survive. But you have to push it. Pry it. Force it. The pain you feel during exercise is the same that you feel during life.

Life is a part of you, it's that part that pushes you, knows where you need to improve, what you can do better. And like I said earlier, it allows you to be all that you can be.