The Green Goblin was Right

"No matter how much you do for them, eventually they will come to hate you."

You know how everyone seems to hate vigilante justice? Well, the officials do anyhow. And before you know it, they're chasing down Spiderman. They're firing guns at Batman. Have you ever sat there and watched, or read along, thinking "What the ****!? Why can't they just leave him alone? Can't they see that he's helping them?" Ever felt that?

Yeah, that just happened to me. Being "chased by the cops" I mean. You know, I really like to help people, but at the same time I'm pretty passive aggressive about it. That is, I can't force anyone to read my blog, or listen to me, but if you engage me or if you try to argue my point, I'm going to get into it pretty hot.

But my point lies within the passive part. I don't shove my agenda down other people's throats. Okay? Let's just get that out of the way, why don't we?

So when somebody comes to me for advice, don't you dare tell me I'm out of line for giving it to them. It's my opinion. The fact that they adopt it as their own means that they either agree and don't want to admit it, or they don't agree but think that they should.

Life isn't all flowers and music. Okay? If I pick up an abandoned dog on the side of the street, it won't matter one damn bit how cute it is - if it's going to bite me, it's not going to make me happy for long.

So if you're into that shallow "live for the moment" bullshit, go ahead and take your best shot at me. But as things stand, I fight for a greater good, I fight for an everlasting love, and you couldn't tear me down if you wanted to.

Hey, You There on the Couch

It all started with one man... it had to, don't you see? It always starts with one man. The inspiration. The motivation. The people who make a difference in your life had to start somewhere, right?

So you sit on the couch and you think, what can I do? Who am I to change the world? (Who are you not to? A post for another day...)

But don't you see? It's everywhere - inspiration, motivation. Sometimes your very existence is enough to warrant action on the part of someone else.

All I ask is that you keep your fear in check. Don't be afraid to reach out, to talk to someone. To make a difference. Because you don't have to move mountains, you just have to give someone the idea of how to do it better.

If your existence was pointless, it would spontaneously cease to... exist.

They need you. We need you.

I need you.

Potential Misused

It's the all too familiar tragic story.

The girl who looks at herself in the mirror and doesn't like what she sees.

The girl who tells herself over and over again.

"I'm ugly. I'm fat. I'm disgusting."

And nobody believes it but her. Why?

Because we see the worst of ourselves.

"I'm stupid. I'm thoughtless. I'm not good enough."

Her boyfriend is no dummy. He knows that he'd better say that she's beautiful or there'll be hell to pay.

But that's not why he says it.

He says it because it's true.

She is beautiful.

The man who looks at himself in the reflection of a cross and doesn't like what he sees.

The man who tells himself over and over again.

"I'm hopeless. I'm sinful. I don't deserve your love."

But God doesn't see it. God doesn't care. God's greatest frustration isn't that he sins, it's that he has such potential. God loves us for who we really are, not for who we see in the mirror. God loves us for what we could be, because to him what we could be is who we are.

He's not mad because we sin - he's mad because we have the potential not to. Because we don't have faith in ourselves.

"I'm not good enough to change the world," he says. "Nobody will read what I have to say anyway. Who am I to tell them anything?" He's wrong you know.

"I'll never stop smoking." This from the man on the corner.

"I'll never fall in love." The heartbroken friend.

"I'll never be what my father wanted me to be." So he stops trying.

"I'm fat. I'm ugly. I'm disgusting." And her boyfriend tells her every day that her smiles bring him up. Her friends tell her that she's pretty, and behind the scenes his friends talk about how lucky he is to have her.

But she won't see it.

He's only mad because you won't be who you are.

C: Change, Jones. It's All About the Change

Change, Jones. It's All About the Change.

Ah yes, the Eight. Have I named them all yet? They've changed a tiny bit since I wrote this one, but still... Full character bios to come when I reach the actual poem (Eight) about them.

But what was happening here? Ah yes, the potential rebound relationship. No, it didn't work out, and thank goodness it didn't. We wouldn't have matched well. Basically I was struggling with the idea that in order to attract attention from this feminine interest of mine, I was going to have to break down my usual routine and flash some social skill (of which I have precious little). One of my friends was pressuring me to just ask her out, and that's what the last bit is in reference to. I knew that it wasn't going to get any easier with time, so I tried to suck it up.

I never did. And I stand by that decision.

People might ask, why didn't you go for it? What did you have to lose?

And I would answer

Jones doesn't fly the damn ship. Period.

:)

C: Vindication

Vindication

In this piece... well, I think I was inspired by Linkin Park. I think. But basically I was once again convincing myself of how I was over my problems, how I was free, liberated. But at the same time, the one man band is going mad, isn't he?

But that's a testament to who I used to be. Because people who don't (metaphorically) wear their seatbelts are not just going to crash, like the rest of us, but they're going to be thrown through the windshield. So that one man band who felt alone and didn't - couldn't - care, had to find it within himself to take some action, make some changes.

To do the right thing.

Be All That You Can Be

An old Army motto... or was it the Marines? Anyhow, it's unsettling. Yeah, it seems hopeful, like someone is looking to the future, but to me it's something far more ominous.

To me it says "As of now, you are not yet all that you can be." And that bothers me. Not because I could be better, but because I'm not doing anything to become better.

Better. By whose standards? Why should anyone judge how I am and who I should become?

I say perspective is reality. I believe it too. But I also believe in an absolute truth. And that absolute truth, I believe, is etched into our hearts and minds. Some can see it more clearly than others... am I one of them? And if I am, what steps am I taking to preserve this Holy Writ? None. And that's the problem.

Rationalization is more important than sex. I don't remember what movie that's from - you'll have to ask a friend of mine. But it's true. Have you ever gone a day without sex? Have you ever gone a day without rationalization?

But rationalization, I fear, has left me compromised. And maybe that's because I'm so good at twisting the absolute to fit my definition, my perspective of reality. And maybe I'm not who I was meant to be.

I don't know if that's okay or not.

But I'm determined to find out.

Life Is... vol.1

Life is a gamble. It has its ups and its downs and if you choose to play, you have to accept the fact that not everything is within your control. You have to accept the fact that not all things will go your way.

But most importantly of all, you have to realize that you are by no means any better or worse than anyone who has a different result. Yes, hard work does pay off. Yes, what goes around comes around. But at the same time, you have to understand that so many tiny things have to come into place for a single event to occur, and that so many of those tiny things have nothing to do with you.

It seems like the safe route these days is to go to college, get a degree, and get a job where you'll have job security until you retire. That's the safe route. But I don't want to be in college. I don't need a degree. And I don't want to have the same job for the next 40 years of my life. What I want to do is write. I want to study, and research, and know things. Make them applicable to my life, as well as yours.

See, I can study all the Physics and Astronomy I want, (and I will, until I get the nerve to go my own way) but I can't see that having an impact on the world, unless we discover fossil fuels in some cosmic location and save everyone from gas tax.

Life is a gamble, and I'm not ready to play yet.

Judge in Moderation

I found that if you judge people before you get to know them, you may be missing out on some good friends. You never know - they may be that one person who inspires you, the one person who teaches you something new, the one person who changes your life.

Then again, some people just suck. So judge in moderation and you'll be fine.

Rough Draft

Rough Draft is a band that I encountered during my trip to Orlando, Florida for the LCMS National Youth Gathering.

They are, in short, amazing. Not only do they have good lyrics and instrumentals, they have a great message. Yes, they are a Christian band, and that may turn some of you away from them, but they don't talk so much about God as they do the issues we all face as people.

Their focus deals with teen suicide, cutting, sex, drugs, alcohol and other forms of self abuse, and to top it all off, they are only 17 years old (with exception of the lead singer/guitarist, who is 16).

They're worth a listen or two.

Unconditional Love

If you have to work for something, it's not a GIFT, it's a PAYCHECK.

If you have to be good to get something at Christmas, it's not a GIFT, it's a PAYCHECK.

If you have to go to a friends birthday party in order for them to come to yours, their presence isn't a GIFT, it's a PAYCHECK.

Only God loves unconditionally.

Only God.

Theme by speaker Bob Lenz.