Letter

John,

Today I've been thinking a lot about how we know people, which is an interesting concept especially in regard to our friendship. Through the years I've had a fair amount of close friends. Naturally that number has diminished over the years, as distances both physical and emotional increase. Some attend other colleges, some start making choices that I can't rightly support. Still others live close enough but never reach out. And that leaves me with a very select few. I'm not unhappy about that at all. If I'm unhappy about anything it's that I don't have a very close friend near my apartment at all. Someone that I can hang out with, write with, play basketball at the small park with. It sounds like an overly romanticized friendship, but honestly it can't be that rare. Can it?

I've always been the kind of person who needs attention--not to the point of acting out, but to the point where a certain amount of my self esteem depends on the fact that other people around me share similar interests and can appreciate me for who I am and what I do. I suppose I could say that I achieve this through my writing in a way. Though, I'm tempted to say that it's not enough, but that's a blatant lie. The happiest moments in my life are when I receive any sort of praise or compliments for my writing. I sit back and think "yeah, this is what it's all about." It's in these moments that I know I chose the right major, no matter how "impractical" it may seem.

I can tell that I'm writing here without much direction, so I might as well continue the trend. I AM UNBEARABLY FRUSTRATED with our social structures. It's almost impossible to meet and introduce yourself to new people. I say almost because, quite frankly, it's not at all. (I happen to be playing through Skies of Arcadia Legends at the moment, which as you know is all about never giving up). However, there's this ever present fear, both of rejection and of misinterpretation. You can't approach just any girl and strike up a conversation without her thinking you're only interested in that one thing (which I am SO not at this point in my life. I just want some g.d. companionship, some camaraderie, you know?).

Of course, this is what the Notemaker is all about. The irony is that I'm not the archetype for the Notemaker, I'm the archetype for the extras in the back, the ones who are inspired by the Notemaker. Can I write the Notemaker without being him? I probably can, or could, if I wasn't in a "writing slump" (subjectively, of course. Don't yell at me).

I appologize for going on about myself for so long. How are your classes? Did you have a good sprink break?

Looking forward to your reply,

Matt