Unnamed Poem, Parts I-VII

This is the "final" version (the latter parts still need some looking at).

I.

I want to stay friends, you said
on walking out the door.
But now a week has come and gone
and I don't hear from you anymore
A week perhaps is far too short
a time to judge a girl's intent
And I exaggerate, it's true
Because last night I heard from you
but all the same you only call
when you need something.
Is this a friendship? I can't tell.
I don't feel like I'm doing well,
but from your calls no one could say
that life, for one of us, is a constant struggle

II.

I'm getting laid off, my love interest
isn't quite so interested as I had hoped
and you sit there in your nice place
content because, well, you're engaged.
I want to channel happiness,
I want to be the happiest
of all the people that you know
because for you I've felt so strong
and really, I want to get along.
This time for you is probably exciting.
And more than that I'd say it's fact;
exciting is a half-bit word
that can’t convey the things I've heard
in voice inflection as you chat
with him, your lover - I know that.
But no matter how I try to feel some joy
inside, I'm dying. (Drama is my default game,
so apologies for speaking this way
I'm sorry if I "play the victim"
but it's hard to stop it when it's real.
And if that's not the way you feel
I get it.) Do I drag you down?

III.

Tomorrow I will interview
in Ballard. It would be nice
to work for the same company twice
assuming that I get the job, of course.
I’ll lose an hour every day in transport
whether I ride my bike or take the bus
but I can’t seem to make a fuss
in any sort of good conscience.

IV.

You called me late three nights ago
and, groggy, I picked up too late.
Your message on the following day
asked if I wanted to see your place
or maybe your puppy. You have a fiancée
and a puppy? That’s hardly fair!
(Don’t spread your fortune everywhere,
God knows I’d hate to get a share)
You say you’ll understand
if my final answer is a no
You think that I won’t want to go.
Well God damn. You’re right.
I never want to see his face
And if you’d left without a trace
(Not to mention the extra space
I’d have with all your things gone)
then maybe we could get along.

V.

“I'm still torn up,” is what I really said.
“Some things aren’t right inside my head.”
My love interest might be a fraud,
a rebound crush, which is not at all
the cure for my most recent fall.
“I'd love to discuss these things with you
and maybe ask what I should do.
Over dinner sometime, if that’s okay.”
And you responded in such a way…
“If you have anything to say,
you can e-mail me any time.” Wait, what?
A few short lines and down I’m shut?
Is this the way to treat a friend?
At least I still tried to connect.
Who knew? A horrible mistake.
Conceited you, what will it take
for you to know I know we’re through?

VI.

It looks like Ballard is a go
(at last some news that’s good to know).
What’s more, I may have gained some ground
in regard to that girl I found.
That’s not to say the thing will fly
but ignoring that, I got some time
with her (we watched the pilot of Firefly).
I won’t say things are looking up,
that things are going well,
but all the same I learned today
I’m better off the further away
I get from you.

VII.

She’s going to London this spring
and home for summer in Silverdale.
And if money wasn’t an obstacle,
or the application date hadn’t passed
I think I’d be there by her side.
Which sounds a little crazy,
or maybe contradictory,
but anything else would only be
a case of irresponsibility.
In life, if we don’t take a chance to live,
we’ll never make the good times last.
And now at last I think I see
the real reason that you left me.