One of Two

Why is it that every time we stride closer to that everlasting light, it seems to elude us? Why is it that every time something goes right, another must go wrong? And as for deserving I will speak no more. Life is not fair, and no matter the cliches attatched that truth cannot be denied. But inequality only sweetens the victory. And even as I write this I understand that I am a fragment, a smaller part of a bigger wheel, a wheel of fire. But yet I am something more. I can choose to work, I can choose to earn, I can cast my distractions aside and run until the blood runs from my torn feet. And one of two things will happen. Either I will attain true happiness, or I will forever prove that quixotic question of deserving to be false. But for now, happiness. As a choice. Building off of memory, and looking into the mists, still cautious and wary of the rocks ahead. It's the life of a shipmate. Im my recent passions for that freedom of openness I understand. It's the challenge. And the price. Identity, and association. To unite with something outside of the mind, and with people I cannot choose. How am I? My smile says it all. But I'm scared, scared of myself. Scared of those on the inside, because they are in a position to deal damage. And Satan once more laughs in the corner of my mind. In the shadows, like a coward. He fefuses to put himself on the line. Was Judas your pawn, Satan? Was it you? Direction. I lack it. Where am I going? This is a call. I need help. Which I need is my crew. And I'm the nav of the group, but the pilot of myself. Because as the nav, I know where to go, and I direct, but of myself the pilot needs only to know HOW to get there, not where there is.

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