More Letters From Turtle

I post these only because they provoke thought, not because I agree 100%.

Dear God:
What do people mean when they say that "It's God's will"?
Signed: Turtle

Turtle:
I don't know. I never felt the need to write one.
Signed: God

---

Dear God:
What would it be like if Christ came back today?
Signed: Turtle

Turtle:
Joseph would write a book, Mary would do shampoo commercials and Christ would appear on Jay Leno with a film clip of his latest miracle.
Signed: God

---

Dear God:
Thank you for the gift of life.
Signed: Turtle

Turtle:
What gift? You know there's no such thing as a free lunch. You're paying for life every day. Pain, depression, bad weather, disappointment, sorrow, the blahs and every day you're getting older. What do you call all of that, fringe benefits?
I figured that if I just gave you life, you wouldn't appreciate it. Not that my charging you did much good. Most of you don't appreciate life anyway. You're too busy complaining about the price.
Signed: God

---

Dear God:
Why do you let people grow old?
Signed: Turtle

Turtle:
Although I've created all of you, I often find the way you think quite puzzling. For me, the most beautiful moment on earth is old people. They are my human sunsets.
Signed: God

---

Dear God:
Is sex as immoral as everyone says it is?
Signed: Turtle

Turtle:
"Immoral," is an interesting word. You're going to have to accept the fact, Turtle, that there are many things in life that are "immoral." Gambling, for instance is "immoral" unless the state gets its cut. Making liquor is "immoral," unless the state taxes it. In fact, almost anything is "immoral," from walking your dog to buying cigarettes, unless the state taxes it.
Stealing is "immoral" unless it's legalized. (Talk to the American Indians about that one.)
Killing is "immoral" unless, of course, you do it in a war or you're wearing a badge. If you refuse to kill in a war, then that's "immoral."
Sex is "immoral" unless the state licenses it and the Church blesses it.
My apologies. I do have a habit of rambling. I've just realized that I've given you a pretty good answer. Unfortunately, it has nothing to do with your question.
Turtle, I wanted you to see so I gave you eyes.
Signed: God