C: True Character

True Character

I'll tell you what happened here... this is right after I got my very first A- at school. And after all of the emphasis that my parents put on grades and education, they didn't care at all. To them it wasn't a big deal, but I had lived every day of my life in fear of "dissapointing them" which meant I was afraid of them being mad at me. I could give a damn what they thought about my school performance - I'm a teenager for God's sake. And to top it all off, I got that A- because I had a 93.4%, meaning I missed it by 0.6%. And I had this one particular friend who liked to rub my now lost 4.0 in my face.

Now, this isn't the reason for the dislike of my family mentioned earlier. When I find myself in that position it's usually because they're arguing with each other, being stupid and arguing semantics or being stubborn and non-communicative. And as this post was still in the journal era, I was probably setting down to writing something profound when it was interrupted by a shouting match... and that profoundness is doomed to be lost forever. But I've long given up on trying to remedy these arguments, hence the "Don't ask why they do it. It's not my place to care." And truthfully, by that point the argument was already over so the statement was more aimed at the people in society who I felt were "fronting on my grill" if you will.

The focus of this post, as seen in the title of course is the statement "True character is who you are when you take every stimulation away, excepting memory." I threw that statement out in my English class once and got deadpan silence... and was ignored while the conversation stayed on simple concepts. So I salvaged it from my brain and wrote it down... I thought it was pretty good. But then again, I think almost everything I write is good.

Basically, I was going through a large "Nobody gives a damn about me" period at this time in my life. Those kinda suck and I kinda hate them kinda.